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WARNING beyond this point many of my thoughts and views since
starting this web site, my own journey may of changed a little :).
. Spectrum wise I may seem like a complex criteria, but for me endless possibilities. They may stick many labels on me, but like everyone I am a unique individual and it’s takes many differences and variables, as with each diagnosis that helps us understand that little bit more, but there is no real comparable as each individual is a combination of many factors.
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I feel labels only help us to understand certain aspects of some of our many differences. I have a huge list of conflicting, outdated in part a combination of neurological differences, including bipolar and I feel it's about time neurological overall testing was done, one stop centers. I cannot say I am autistic or anything else, I may have
neurological differences but I am human and have a name! (Oct.2010) Neurodiversity : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity
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As I walked this morning, I was thinking on how we simply do not think like others, process, relate, visualize, so what if our whole perspective from when born is different, I feel that's why others often misinterpret us, at times brilliant minds dismissed, something must be wrong with us because we are not the same, we simply do not fit, what? I do not think it's as simple as being on the spectrum or not, the spectrum circle of neurologically complexities is what links us all... some have none, some are on the edge of the autism spectrum with various neurological differences and some like myself come under the autism spectrum, but also have many neurological differences that none spectrum can have, the more we have the more complex, at times I guess the harder it is to fit into a reality that is not designed for our needs. Then there is the highly sensitive group, which seems to be on the edge of the autism spectrum, add in various personality types, other differences, cultural, environmental factors and we have a world full of diversity and difference, maybe we all need to be more inclusive, open and accepting of all differences, embrace and allow rather than change. - Feb.2010
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"A different intelligence that simply far too often does not fit into
society as is, each of us different on the spectrum just like those
that are not, each with differing strengths and weaknesses, but
our biggest battle continues to be with a society that encourages
conformist and for me to conform would be to lose part of self."
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My name is Alyson Bradley I was born in the UK and now live in New Zealand. All I ask is that you do not judge me by me differences, as my outside does not necessarily reflect my inside thoughts... When I first meet you I may over process and sensory wise go into overload, but if you take time to get to really know me, I am just another individual, not so unlike you... I discovered later in life the autism spectrum, simply brilliant. I have Aspergers, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia plus... a complex neurological puzzle, I have so much to say as I have discovered from my own journey, lived experiences. Aug.09 also diagnosed with adhd plus, when ready and when understand all my complexities more maybe I will write an article or include in my book, my journey at present continues which is a process.
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"I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. - George Burns" I also look forward as looking back untold wrongs, put downs, misunderstandings, discrimination even I never knew about until understood my own neurological differences, my journey continues and with acceptance I can allow and look forward to a future on my terms. This web site / Forum is for all those that want to learn, for all diversely different people who often continue to suffer unnecessarily on or off the spectrum... I guess myself I am more complex than simply having Aspergers and so in a way my many neurological complexities has given me a unique window and insight into this world, and now I understand so much more in a way I feel privileged to view the world the way I do, I only wished I had been allowed, or found the information, confidence to be the person I am now starting to accept, understand and truly like.
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Autism a word I guess that helps explain part of my neurological wiring, a part of me. But in a way I have many labels that the professionals have chosen to give me, there way of figuring me out, but I am no label, word simply a person, a unique individuals just like everyone else… So often many seem scared to step outside their safe boundaries, but often I feel those of us with autism live on the edge of those boundaries, thinking outside the box, pushing concepts and ideas and in part changing the future. Someone question me the other day on line but in away implying because they did not understand my neurological complexities than maybe I needed to be fixed! I could so easily think the same of any other who do not fit into my own mind set, stereo type of my reflection on normality!
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So does in fact any majority have a right to question just because, I may not be your / their idea, but I could so easily say the same about them and reverse what mind sets need fixing! While we are all different, I find generally many seem to not want to understand what they are not use to, feel comfortable with I guess...but does anyone have a right to choose! One of my cyber friends was describing how she felt, same for me: "There's a line in the Beatles song "Eleanor Rigby" about how: she wears a face she keeps in a jar by the door'....." – I use to feel like that a lot of the time, now I know just some of the time, but I always when at odds with this world, feel a parallel world must exist and I must dare!
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I seem to be so much more in tuned with the world than others most simply do not get me and exposed to a society that does not understand, never easy. I am quite hyper vigilant, have a different sort of emotion, but it’s there. At times its like being one person at home and feeling like as I go out of my front door I become a rather good chameleon. As at times I Struggle to simply fit in, but at home I feel at ease without the stress of society, which makes me at times feel pressured to how I have to be and act... sometimes to me it’s also like going on stage. I can play act for w while, but exhausting to try and do all the time.
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Who knows why I am so different, guess we all are in a way, different but the same. I over process, analyze everything I do, it’s like a need for knowledge, a need to know often more important to us than friendship in away, but some things of course needs to be encouraged, and often spectrum individuals prefer one friend at a time, one on one conversations..as find hard to cope with more. Also as I find whatever I am doing I have to fully complete to move on, one less stress to overload us. Because if I end up with too many things to do I end up procrastinating I kind of get stuck. Other peoples instructions never make much sense to me, I usually end up doing my own way like most things, can be amusing sometimes and frustrating other times, as for multi-tasking I sort of can but have to be over organized to do and keep on top of everything, because otherwise the thoughts of everything I need to do clouds my thoughts and shuts me down, overload, stop.!
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We are as mysteries as the universe, but then isn't everyone.
I do know I am neurologically wired differently, and so are some
individuals not on the spectrum, the outer circle as I like to say....
I am not a scientist and will not pretend to be, but throughout my
whole extended family their are all sorts of neurological differences,
says it all really. We cannot fear what we do not know, so dare!
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I feel we all need to know, if you’re on the autism spectrum or not, including family, friends and / or anyone and everyone as we can learn so much from each other. Society in general seems to want to leave it up to the so called professionals, who are still learning themselves..... I am just trying to help raise awareness so that one day we will be allowed our differences, without having to feel we need to justify them.
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Free self-help network designed to share ideas and resources, and to offer a supportive forum and community for all adults (and older teens) that share characteristics of the autistic spectrum including Aspergers Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disorder - not otherwise specified and associated conditions such as Dyslexia, ADHD, Bipolar..... and so much more, share, learn, discuss and submit....
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We are all unique individuals on or off the autism spectrum, just some of us a lot less understood. Society caters for what the majority, mainstream see as "norm". Being on the autism spectrum does not mean we are ill or need to be cured, we are just simply differently minded and what's really needed is correct support if needed and lots of understanding, time for you all to step back and rethink the way you see things, then maybe less people with autism would feel shut out, or at odds with society in general.
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Think differently about autism
Work: http://asplanet.info/index.php?option
=com_content&task=view&id=40&Itemid=83
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It is too easy to put the NT or any other label onto others, but next to impossible to know for sure that it is the correct label! I am not trying to label, just wanting to generalize without having to continually explain throughout text. I am more than aware of the many diversities, so no offense intended.
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AS: Autism Spectrum - some think to understand and embrace
ASD: Autism Spectrum disorders or maybe we should be saying "differences" as are a range of developmental disorders / disabilities from mild to severe, often accompanied with many associated conditions and no two people on the autism spectrum are alike.
Aspie/Autie: person who is on the Autism Spectrum (some of us prefer not to say if we have high functioning, low functioning, Aspergers, autism...). I also prefer not to differ between aspie and autie as feel we are all on the autism spectrum and share traits where ever on the autism spectrum we are - so will use the word Aspie...
NT: Neuro typical - Just a way of indicating a person who is not on the Autism Spectrum, as there is no "normal" - it’s just a concept that a majority of people agree on, as we are all born as unique individuals. I know some people like to say just "typical" but I will just use NT to explain not on autism spectrum, no offence intended.
NEW Spectrumite : simply means your on the autism spectrum and nuerologically minded :)
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Autism : my core at the heart of who I am, what’s Autism many ask and to be honest I feel no simply one word, reply as its a combination of often many sensory, neurologically including many intellectually learning differences and often because of being ...exposed to a society that finds it easier to enforce conformity than really understand, many of us slip onto the criteria of mental variables....Plus like anyone associated conditions to add in the mix, well my version anyway of course could be more complicated even sub sections to being autistic, different types of people, traits... that’s sounding like the rest of the population or maybe simply is as each one of us are individuals, I have so many labels that overlap and interact no surprise others often do not get me, let alone myself unless allow myself to simply be!
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"Sometimes I wonder are some simply trying to throw away,
rubbish the world. So many seem to of gone consumer mad
and forgotton what life should be about!" - Alyson Bradley
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"Autism a apart of my neurology complexities... and for some reason
dare I say the word autism, bipolar the reactions unbelievable sometimes,
its not what people know, its what they do not know, ignorance can stop
some people from even saying the word, I am not a word but a person
and everyone is different, maybe we all need to discuss and say more!"
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Enough talk time for action, how many more individuals need to feel like
lost souls, alienated from a society that often simply does not understand,
accept or allow. Everyone has a right to an education, to be employed and live
a life on equal terms! I feel it’s not so much about closing the gap, but changing
attitudes, as many of us on the autism spectrum already compromised enough!
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"What has happen, has happen and we can not turn back time,
but we do not have to continue to allow others to tell us how we
should be, no one is going to think for me anymore, don't let my
smile fool you, I have no choice but to be a rebel in disguise!"
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Aspergers there still is generally a lack of understanding and not enough support but to me raising awareness is so important, because to not know, is to stay lost, and not really be able to know or understand your true self. Can we ever be 100% sure that any label is correct, but we need to understand who we are. Many of us misunderstood, confused, wrongly diagnosed, it's not an easy path. Aspergers has only been a part of the diagnostic criteria since 1994. But it's better to know, than never have known...
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People with Aspergers Syndrome include remarkable individuals in all walks of life. They include scientists, engineers, technicians, writers, artists, musicians, business people including CEO’s, entertainers and almost ordinary people, as well as people with serious difficulties who can't seem to hold jobs and don't make eye contact. This is a large, and largely invisible, population not limited to stereotypical geeks and nerds. All share many challenges and most have issues with getting along or being fully accepted in society.
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Education and awareness really is the key to a better society where we can help eliminate, as much as possible the prejudgment and stigma before it happens. Quite often the real problem with having something like Aspergers is having to continually deal with others who do not understand, which can lead to feeling frustrated, as the so called "normal world" often see us as outsiders and keep us at arm’s length. Aspergers is just the way I'm wired; we are all different and have different symptoms Aspies, Auties and NT's etc.. the world is made up of many diversities, but we need to at least be able to understand who we are.
. With a condition like Asperger it is exceptionally hard because no 2 people are the same. We may have some of the same traits, but we are all individuals in our selves, different personalities, different circumstances, different associated conditions and each effected differently. So generalizing about people with Aspergers is difficult, as if you know one person on the autism spectrum, you just know one! We are unique individuals and share traits which have been behind some of the greatest human achievements to date.
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"However much we are knocked back in life, we must always move
forward, stay strong and smile, as each of us has our own life journey's
to fulfil, the key for me is to stick with like minded individuals, reach out
because their is always someone in more need and to remmeber those
that may seem like outsiders, often simply being true to themselves!"
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Our 'symptoms' are in fact ourselves, not some unfortunate illness we suffer. We are unique individuals which the so-called 'normal' world underestimate and even despise, but often do not try to understand. We have been made to believe in a stereotype of 'normality' for our children, and to panic, fear and react when our offspring don't achieve. As far too often it’s the associated conditions we need help with, but the NT's continue to blame our Autism Spectrum Disorders for everything!
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Every person is different, whether you have Aspergers/High Functioning Autism, Autism, Dyslexia, or whatever you’re still human – what is the norm, do you or anyone else have the right to dictate. Someone once said to me "if you had a chance of being normal, would you" and I replied "is there a normal, aren't we all individuals in our own right, and to me thats like asking me to be someone else - so no I think I will keep me"..
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Autism without mental retardation Disorders/intellectual disability are said to be the same thing by many experts. I tend to agree and feel it's all the same spectrum, just different levels of ability at different things. I feel all aspies have similar traits just at different levels - I'm all for one Full Official Criteria, instead of two, maybe it would be easier for the professionals then to get it right. Also I feel at times aspergers does not get taken as seriously as autism , and it should as can still have huge consequenties.
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"Asperger’s Syndrome, but I cannot be exact as the lines of definition are so closely intertwined between this term and others. The reason is that there are many autistic disorders, referred to as the Autism Spectrum and they are often diagnosed on the basis of behaviour. Unfortunately, there are no specific genetic or biological markers that accurately identify a person as being on this autism spectrum. People on the spectrum do have certain traits in common such as impairment in social interaction, impairment in communication, and restricted and/or repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests and activities. Autism in all forms tends to first manifest itself in childhood even before the age three and the differences within the autism spectrum are related to both severity and the presence or absence of some symptoms. - MS Carsley"
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Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of
madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius
and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because
genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced
by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd. - Edith Sitwell
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Finding and understanding self is a process: It is a journey, the first step to acceptance and recognition that in fact most of our lives have been an act in away, a pretense and of course we have learned to change adapt, but at who's cost... time for the mask to come off and allow, celebrate the real you. Many of us start on a journey, finding we have already spent half our lives trying to be what we are not - neuro typical "norm" and then we get to spend the next half trying to figure out who we are Aspies / Auties.....fair, NO
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A dear friend I meet on my new journey sent me the quote below, after returning from the NZ Autism Conference September 2008 and feeling as if no one gets it, except my fellow aspies, and those living with aspies daily. Who I can only continually thank for being so supportive worldwide, it’s like I have gained a whole new extra large extended family. I feel that partly maybe we are just genetically different, and others are unable to tolerate our quirky traits!
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This web site shares my journey and others...I want this site to be as much yours as mine.... site added to and updated regularly, daily on forum. You can add comments to all web site screens, at bottom of each web page, or just come and chat or help others on the forum. I would love to add your story, thoughts.
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Wrong diagnosis: In the past many people have been misdiagnosed with various conditions. Some people on the autism spectrum do have associated conditions and some do not. But one of the biggest problems is the misconception that people on the spectrum always have some sort of mental disorder, which is not the case. Children on the spectrum can be very bright and parents often think there oddities are due to them being gifted.
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But generally the most common mis-diagnoses are: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (OD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Mood Disorders such as Cyclothymic Disorder, Dysthymic Disorder, Depression, Bi-Polar Disorder and Schizophrenia. These common mis-diagnoses stem from an ignorance among many professionals about specific social and emotional characteristics of people on the spectrum.
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Just one example of many: "Something wasn't adding up" about my daughters behavior for her parents when she was 2 years old, her mother said. In fourth grade, she was diagnosed correctly. Before that, doctors thought she had cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder, then attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and oppositional defiant disorder.......
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"I also love patterns, numbers even sadly the rubic cube. But
creatively I feel this is partly why we see more into things than
others, we notice patterns, numbers etc.. and can make order to
them differently from the average person. I have also heard that
many aspie type people were used to decode things in the war
like the Enigma code these days they are called hackers!."
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Labels! Just want to make one thing very clear. I do not want to put any labels on anyone, and you could say Aspergers is a label. But it describes a neurological wiring which is an intrinsic characteristic of ours, unfortunately still a very misunderstood one. Asperser’s, just like neurotypicism, is neither good nor bad, but simply a label that applies to a particular type of brain functioning.
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Aspergers and a lot of the associated conditions / symptoms are related to brain chemicals, high or low, so maybe we should all avoid specific labels, where possible, and just treat the condition/symptoms!. But we do need to raise awareness, because otherwise people like me will stay undiagnosed and suffer unnecessary as I have in the past.
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My own mother was never diagnosed with Aspergers unlike me, I'm lucky at least now I know and understand who I am, but my mother was wrongly diagnosed with metal disorders and had quite a few electroconvulsive treatments over the years, so had to deal with her many suicide attempts and having an unavailable mother who always felt like she never belonged and consequent of this, like so many others she was never happy in this world. I continue to hear so many similar stories, of wrong diagnosis and feeling of alienation.
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Unfortunately without raising awareness of Aspergers, it will never become just another fact, like being left or right handed. If people do not know of or understand, how can we help those in need? By understanding better, eventually less people will be left in the dark, confused and misunderstood. Only by discussing and bringing the unknown into the open, can it become norm. To me just like being color blind, it’s just a different way of thinking and seeing things. That’s why it’s vital we all listen to each other and unite on this.
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I do not have a lifelong disability Aspergers is part of who I am, I’m ok
with that, why cannot you be! Raising Awareness of Aspergers Syndrome:
http://asplanet.info/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=32&Itemid=67
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Sometimes it can seem like an endless tasks to convince people that you or your children may be on the Autism Spectrum Disorder and then where on the spectrum another huge task. I myself have felt at times, it’s like trying to achieve the impossible just to get diagnosed, let alone know what to do and where to go. There is help out there, so do not give up - And remember more than often you’re the best judge of yourself and / or children, as far too few really good professionals and of course if I can help in any way, I will just ask.
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I feel one of the problems still lies with big organizations, over structure, fighting for funding…instead of dealing with the real problems and working with the people who can really help. We truly need to all come together, otherwise people on the spectrum are left to try and fit the puzzle together themselves. I also feel with so many different individuals working on different aspects of the spectrum, it is quite disjointed and hard for an out sided to get an overall view of the whole picture.
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When Dr. Temple Grandin was a child, she was labeled autistic (low-functioning) and her parents were told she should be institutionalized. Some people argue that no child should be given a label like low-functioning. Autistics themselves are beginning to speak out against the low functioning labels they received as children, and the abuse they suffered in institutions. Abuse of the disabled, or those labeled disabled, is unfortunately an all too common problem..
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Arguably the most famous living individual with autism, Temple Grandin boasts a highly successful career in the cattle industry and a prodigious collection of autobiographical works. Almost certainly the most public figure with autism, Ms. Grandin also has decades of practice communicating with people about what it's like to live as an autistic individual in the "neurotypical" world.
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If you've heard Grandin speak before, you might be surprised to hear her voice in this interview -- her typical monotonic "robot" voice has softened a bit over the years, as I'm sure she's aware. She's grown expert in expressing her experience in a way that people without autism will understand, in part because over the course of a lifetime she's put a lot of effort into understanding how her way of being in the world diverges from the "neurotypical."
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Hopefully as awareness grows, this site will reach
out like the brances of a large old wise oak tree !
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Knowing is the first step to really understanding yourself
The first steps are never easy, it’s not that simply as from day one we are all born as unique individuals, and we are all altered and changed by life experiences and our environmental situations. But a circle does not fit into a square, and if you have always felt the outside, just different – maybe there is a lot more to you than even you realized, just maybe you have been gifted with AS (Aspergers Syndrome, Advanced Species, Alien Species….any other suggestions!)
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There are so many more AS diagnosed and undiagnosed individuals out there, in fact I have heard recently, it is estimated that as many as every 1 in 100 people has an Autism Spectrum Disorder, this includes people who have Aspergers. I’m not saying any of you need to advertise the fact if you have AS, or even be diagnosed. But you really do need to know, to understand. I want to make people aware AS is not an illness. Usually the AS people are quite talented, creative, innovative – but often so miss understood. We are not all the same, so professionals out there remember we all individuals just like everyone else, so when giving advice or diagnosing us it would help for you to remember that!
. Writing is not my best subject, due to being dyslexic and more... but I have so much to say, and even if it does take me 10 xs longer than anyone else (bare with me) – if only you knew the amount of times I recheck para’s and still get bits wrong, so frustrating. It’s like my mind is 100 xs faster, than I could ever write or type and its auto for me to muddle words around the wrong way, so I read and re read – until correct! Still I’m working on that one. And for all you aspies who are obsessive about things being 100% please bare with me.
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I want to let you into my personal journey in the hope that I can inspire and help others. I was diagnosed with Aspergers in July 07 and told have bipolar traits which I seem to have under control now!, but maybe that does explain my obsessive compulsive tendencies and anxiety, moods etc... and there is more, just before that May.07 diagnosed with Dyslexia & Dyspraxia. Undiagnosed: I'm sure I also haveADHD when younger and still do (still very hyper). and have clutters a speech disorder, when younger speech was corrected, and then have/had lots of sight problems(visual perception difficulties), possibally face blindness! and do have Dermatotillomania (skin picking).
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Still we are who we are and what I do now realize all these symptoms are just a part of who I am, just happy to know the reasons for my differences, even if the neuro typical do not always seem to understand. Was it all a shock, yes a huge one especially at my age, but I tend to deal with things head on hence this site. Would love a full correct diagnosis one day, but cost... so if anyone is willing, I would love to have all the test and really know for sure!
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After years of fighting the unknown "Aspergers" and my other differences..., I feel I have been acting a part in this world, it was like my life was on hold until now. I have no energy to want to please everyone else anymore, I just want to be able to take off the mask, stop playing the part and at last be myself. At times it can be very lonely, as others continue to unintentionally alienate me. .
I have had to live with bullying as a never ending continuum throughout life that turned to discrimination, but that has not stopped me wanting to help you all fight the course and change things. As I know by opening up to the world, as you and other's start your journey, I will be here and I truly do understand. Hopefully, as awareness grows, this site will reach more of you....
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"To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best to make you every
-one else is to fight the hardest battle that anyone can fight" ee cummings
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Thanks for your ongoing support
